“I want to talk about Final Fantasy VII”

I muse over these words repeatedly to myself, hoping that the repetition will make my self-perceived goal for myself something that comes naturally, instead of procrastinating once again. It shouldn’t be this daunting to talk about something I love, something I have shared with so many others who know me and have watched me talk about this piece endlessly for countless hours across the years. But I stall as soon as I start, because I know this piece must let me bare myself in writing – what’s easiest to be said over the sound of my own voice falters in the night sky as I type away.

And yet time doesn’t stop, always pressing forward even as I languish for rest. So today, my pen won’t stall – I may not know what the future holds, but I don’t want to waste this opportunity of passion and stall this writing any longer. It may just be the fractured thoughts of someone who holds too much passion over something they don’t understand – it might just be a way for me to talk about myself more than anything. But I love Final Fantasy VII, because it’s the game that sees me for my experiences and who I am because of them the most. This is entirely self-perceived…but, sometimes, that is the power of fiction – to find yourself in the smallest and largest of things and learn more about yourself and the world because of them.

I will not deny that bias is going to be a huge part of this article. If for some reason you do not share my sentiments, then that’s fine! But I would like to state that this is a personal writing about my own experiences with Final Fantasy VII and my own interpretations about its narrative – everyone is free to have their own perspective on the game and its narrative, and what thematic purpose the story serves. But today, I want to share my own perspective for a change.

This writing will be broken up into “fragments“, as a way for me to section off everything neatly — this is my first time trying this, so please bear with me.

I first played through Final Fantasy VII with it’s official localization around a year after it dropped on the PlayStation Store for PS3 when I was in middle school. I had some exposure to the franchise already, having gone through Dissidia for PSP and Final Fantasy XII as my first PS3 game relatively recently – so I knew who Cloud was and that Sephiroth was someone who bore a grudge against him. I knew that Aerith dies – especially so since I had also seen the bonus Advent Children UMD bundled with the PSP I acquired – and that One-Winged Angel was the most iconic song for many in the game. It’s hard to describe – or even accurately remember – how I felt about the game then. I remember I still loved it – I can picture myself playing off my PSP as I go to the car dealership with my parents, stuck trying to climb the icy mountain before Northern Crater…but what stood out to me, then and what still remains today, is the pain I feel.

What I love about Final Fantasy VII the most is its depiction of grief, mental trauma and illness – to me, more than many other games I have played. None of the cast in FF7 can process their grief well – it stays and persists with them like a curse that continues to fester until it breaks them across several years. We watch them toss and toil, especially our protagonist Cloud, whose journey wears at him until finally the leftover remnants of his wellbeing break as he loses what he perceives as his own identity. It is because I see so much of myself in the narrative – so much of myself in Cloud and his own breakdown – that I can’t help but resonate with this game so strongly. I want to write about the game’s strengths – but I also want to share a bit about myself, too. Because, after all, that’s the type of person I am – and it’s the only way I think really feels like me.

Fragment: Gameplay

Before I get into the main parts of this writing, I at least want to briefly share some sentiments on the gameplay. I quite adore FF7’s usage of the ATB system – the default starts you in recommended / wait mode, but I always turn the game to active ATB and then have the speed up. The Materia system does remove some unique character individuality, but I love that you can customize each member to your liking and give them Materia of your own choosing – it helps you as a player better connect to the party and make your own interpretations of what their skills are and why they’re using them.

I also love that a large part of the world is open for you to explore, especially during the back half. While for most of Disc 1 you are railroaded into following the story in a linear pattern, the scope of the games map is so huge, and each area you go to is filled with so many little details of scenery. Notably, this is one aspect that I do like about the game’s remakes – they want to enhance your experience and attachment to the world by creating a larger scale environment that really soaks you in with all the little details. It may sometimes lead to padding, but I have adored this games world no matter what era, and I continue to fall in love with it every time I play.
*although I always just use Cloud, Tifa and Yuffie each run…

Fragment: Grief, Convenience, and Nature

Final Fantasy VII is a game about grief – it’s also a game about nature and convenience. These three things co-exist with one another, especially as the party’s personal failures begin to become the forefront of the game’s narrative. In the beginning of Final Fantasy VII, the characters are largely at odds with Shin-ra company and find themselves criticizing their usage of Mako and how it has damaged the planets longevity – but many characters, including amongst the party themselves, point out how Shin-ra has given everyone convenience and other opportunities, even if it came at a high cost. The party themselves cannot deny this truth, just as simply as they cannot shy away from their own denial of their grief by finding their own conveniences.

We can see this inside each of the initial four — Cloud escapes into a form of convenience created by his own failings to deny his perceived lack of self-worth and stay beside the person he cherishes. Tifa chooses to remain passive instead of causing issues between her and others – primarily Cloud – because it is convenient to do such so she can hold onto how things are. Aerith chooses to follow Cloud because he conveniently acts like Zack and may allow her to move on from grief, just as simply as it may allow her to finally be free from Shin-ra’s eyes as well. Barret blames himself heavily for the actions that led to his hometown’s destruction and loss of his family and friends but chooses to blame Shin-ra as a way to escape his own guilt, because it is more convenient for him to continue fighting them even at the cost of other innocent lives than it is for him to properly atone for his own failings.

The rest of the party is a victim of this too — Red XIII cannot accept his father’s sudden disappearance, so he chooses to pin him as a coward in a way to escape his own grief until reality faces him down in his own arc. Cid, unable to let go of his dream of going to space, places responsibility and blame towards the woman whose life he saved at the cost of his dream. Vincent is trapped in guilt for not helping the woman he loved and stays with the party because it is initially conveniently the only way for him to “atone” for his sin. Yuffie, one of the many proudful Wutai, is unable to accept the current state of her people and tries to insert herself into the party as a convenient way of finding Materia, hoping somehow that it will restore their pride. And lastly, Reeve, who cannot live with his own complacency in Shin-ra’s actions that led to the loss of so many innocent lives – so he finds himself stuck between the party and Shin-ra, choosing the form of Cait Sith because it conveniently allows him to escape from true responsibility by monitoring them while also assisting them on the sidelines as best he can. Notably, most of the games supporting cast also face these challenges, such as Sephiroth – with far worse personal and global outcomes for everyone.

And yet throughout their journey, it is the little things that bring the party closer to tackling their trauma. Environmentalism has always been a strong part of FF7’s narrative, and there are deeper messages to be found within the games text – but one of the little ways I love about it’s usage is how it used throughout the game is to showcase how the characters re-experience the world around them through their journey. In their grief, they forget about the little parts of life – the small details that make it worth living, even past the hurt. The people they meet, all the rocks in the mountains they see, the wildlife surrounding the forests they traverse…little details and memories they make across the way with one another, showing them a connection to the world that they long shut out. Tifa posits in the game that everyone bottles up so many things, that they ultimately forget other things that matter – and it’s the characters journey throughout that lets them appreciate the nature around them, and strive to protect it more virtuously.

Fragment: Cloud and Tifa’s Relationship

Cloud and Tifa’s relationship is one of the most important aspects of the narrative for me. For most of the game, the love triangle between these two and Aerith is center stage, but it’s infamous resolution after the games famous midway twist really sticks out to me. I have always thought this spot of the game was integral to understanding both Cloud and Tifa’s characters, and it always resonates with me even today, especially seeing both of them try to heal from their lowest spot.

Both Cloud and Tifa are stuck in their pasts – trying to atone for one’s own weakness and trying to latch onto the memory of what they’ve lost. They are both longing for something through their dependence on one another. Tifa holds onto her memory of Nibelheim through Cloud, while also holding onto her desire to be saved by someone. Through him, she will be able to find the happiness she longs for, even if it may be unattainable. For all of his failings, Cloud tries to protect Tifa to fulfill his promise to her, but also to fulfil his longest desire: to be strong – both for himself and her, he has to remain sturdy and always appear ever vigilant, showing a “cold” strength so he can truly become someone who is deserving to stay by her side.

And yet, Cloud’s lack of self worth eventually causes him to break himself – he cannot falter now, when the person he cherishes the most is right in front of him. Even if their interactions had been small, even if he was only cherishing an idea of that person and who she was – he has to be there, because more than anything, he promised to protect her. Having broken that promise once before, all he can do is continue the falsehood – pretend like nothing is wrong, continue to press onwards, constantly digging his own self further away until all that remains is a husk of who he used to be. He does not know any other way – all he can do is be there for her no matter what, despite everything, at the cost of himself…until finally, the northern crater breaks him.

I wonder how many times…have I done the same? How many times have I become someone else, just because I don’t know any other way to live? How many times have I sacrificed myself and my autonomy to hold onto someone, even if only the idea of them – and hurt us both?

Tifa finds herself unable to do anything except plead for more time. She cannot say what she knows she has to, because the confrontation scares her – the reality she may lose the only connection she has to her past that she cherishes so much, and the one person she wanted to protect her no matter what – the idea that if she asks him anything… “are you okay? Are you really sure you were there? My memory isn’t the same…what if we sit down and work things through?” are alien to her, because she knows that everything can fall and break in a moment – she remains passive, afraid to move, because there otherwise the risk is far too great – but in that moment, she finally realizes…that passivity might have been ultimately what broke the person she loves the most.

I wish that I had just moved forward, even if it was risky. If I had the strength to say more – if I could have just spoken one more time, and stood up for myself…or if I could have just said the words, I really needed to, instead of giving into my fears and anxieties…if I wasn’t such a weak person…I wonder, could things really have changed? Maybe even if they wouldn’t have, at least…I could be proud of who I am today, at the very least…

After everything breaks, Tifa watches over Cloud, knowing he may never recover, and knowing that an uncertain future awaits them and the planet. Tifa knows that she could probably help fight for the planet – but to lose the person most special to her now scares her more than if they die together, so she stays by his side, wanting to protect him just as he had been taking care of her all that time. Even if there is slim chance of recovery – even if he may not be who he says he is – she still waits, because it is in her own power to.

When the two are finally able to speak to one another, it is alone in the middle of Cloud’s own spiral – finally able to see Cloud for who he is, she simply asks to stay by his side and help him, no longer wanting to be passively by his side – instead, she wants to change and become a more headstrong individual, like Aerith, who always stayed true to her heart. Because she no longer wants to let grief pile up for her Tifa finally begins to move, to protect what truly matters to her even if she may not find the answers she’s searching for – it is her strength that allows her to finally take care of herself and support the person she loves.

Even though Cloud cannot believe in himself, it is the person whose disappointment he fears the most that helps him finally realize his own worth. It is her perseverance that helps him finally gaze at his own past and accept his failings as a person – and his own strengths, which he never wanted to acknowledge, because those actions could not have come from a weak person such as himself. In their last personal moment, the two stay together underneath the stars – finally able to find one night where they can truly be at peace with one another – and in that moment, the two people they were yesterday strive…to continue to find themselves tomorrow.

It’s what it means to be human, after all…we all find ourselves lost in uncertainty and doubt. But the people around us remind us that despite everything, we are still deserving of that love and care. Even though I’m a weak person, undeserving of the bonds I have now, and who may never achieve anything with my own hands – I am still told it’s worth being here – that I still have a reason to be here. The people around me now keep reminding me that even someone like me has a reason…to keep going, even if…

Fragment: Aerith’s Death

The most well-known aspect of Final Fantasy VII is its crucial midway twist – the death of one of its beloved heroines, Aerith, and how that affects the rest of work towards it’s conclusion. It’s hard to talk about Final Fantasy VII and its handling of grief and loss without talking about this aspect of the work, especially because of how crucial the scene is to the development of these themes.

Aerith’s dynamic with the party is what brings them an initial liveliness – in contrast to being emotionally withdrawn like Cloud and Tifa, she is more passionate and extroverted, always inquisitive and trying her best to support everyone. Whereas Barret acts grandiose to cope with his own personal struggles and failures whilst shifting the blame, Aerith accepts her failures as best she can and acts rowdy to lift both hers and the parties’ spirits. Each character holds a trauma from the past, and both she and Cloud share the loss of Zack – but Aerith strives to move from her trauma and falls in love with Cloud for who he is deep down, and not the proxy of Zack she was expecting him to be at first. It is her that keeps the party lunging ahead, because she tethers them to the smaller things in life and emotionally to one another, even as they are all facing their trauma and struggles head on, even in the face of uncertainty, always smiling through the pain.

That’s why once the tether is snapped, the party is no longer able to continue the farce of wellness – once she’s gone, there is nothing left – no peace to be gained in loss or grief, no escape from the grief they have so desperately been running from through her.

When Cloud grasps Aerith’s lifeless body in front of him, he sees all of his failures and trauma staring him down the abyss – the fires of his hometown as his eyes burn, his trembling fingers showing his unsteady resolve and weakness…after her death, all he can do is bury his emotions in the snow, continuing to press on to fulfill the party’s mission, even though he’s so close to breaking…

When we entered the hospital room, your finger was out – as if even after all these years of distance and shouting, you were asking me to hold it again one more time. I knew my eyes were burning, but I tried to hold back as much as I could. I never let it show as much as everyone thinks – I had to keep it together as your eldest child, just because it was the least I could do for you in death. I took on the brunt of responsibility of your funeral even though I didn’t want to. And then I saw inside your desk and found all my childhood photos and drawings…And all I thought I knew crumbled in that moment.

In Aerith’s final moment, her pre-conceived destiny as “somebody who is chosen” is lost – she does not die in the service of a grand heroic moment to save the rest of the world – she does not become the harbinger of fate that one may think typically befits the RPG genre. She simply smiles – happy to see the person she loves the most one more time – and is no longer part of this world. Her death has no greater purpose within context of the games world – the reality of death is that it simply comes to you whether you want it to or not. Aerith, the party, and you, are given no indication that it will happen – and nobody is allowed the time to grieve, as you must press on because the journey is too arduous. We cannot change back the clock – we cannot undo our actions – and when one is lost, we can never return to the time spent with them again.

And yet, this is what makes Aerith’s final fate so poignant – there is nothing past death except for the lingering wounds left behind. A clean, medical cut – a slit where she used to be – is deposited on your heart, a reminder of the presence who can no longer be felt. Traces of her are everywhere – the places you traveled to, the scenery you encounter…and the remnants of her equipment left in your inventory for you and the party to ponder over, finding yourself dreaming about what ifs: if you could see her again…would she give you flowers one final time, affirming that even as you are, she will stay beside you ever more? Will she tell you the words you wanted to hear, even if you don’t know you can say them back? Would she…forgive you, for your sin – of hurting her, and letting her die – even if you can’t forgive yourself?

I find myself dreaming about what ifs – maybe if things had been different – if I had simply existed at another time and place, I would have turned out differently. I wonder what it would be like, if I could meet you again – would we laugh like we used to, and tell each other farewell after a fond night of reminiscence? Would you stay with me by your side, and let me pet you one more time before we part ways? Or would we get into another shouting match and scoff at one another one more time before smiling knowing that we still care about one another? I have said goodbye so many times – to you, to him, and to her – I wonder, when will my own heart start moving again?

I think this is why her death resonates with me so much…because it’s something might have been able to be avoided. Each time I play, I find it harder and harder to get to this moment, because I know there is a parting that will be forced onto me whether I as a player want it or not. Even the act of stopping my playthrough right before she dies will not change that I have to say goodbye to Aerith – and to others – who have changed my life in so many ways. It’s because this scene feels so real to me – the way everything is presented, the lines spoken by everyone, and even her last actions itself — it hurts strong, because I know in my heart that each time I’ve said goodbye, it’s been as sudden as this one, and I find there is nothing stronger to life in fiction than seeing my own life on the screen, even in a small way.

Aerith’s death has no inherent meaning – death serves no grand purpose other than to be an end of life, no matter what – that is the reality we are forced to recognize no matter where we go. But even so, there is meaning to be found in her death – it allows the party to recognize their own failings and strive to be more virtuous, even if they all find themselves undeserving of her care. It allows them to contemplate, sort through themselves, and find the strength to tell others they cherish them and will do anything to protect them. And it allows them to find the strength to fulfill her last wish – they do not know what that wish is – her chance to say it was taken from her. But, in the end, the lifestream protects the planet – because her wish was the same as everyone else’s – her small, personal wish, was one of many that protected the planet – “I want to protect those who I cherish, and this planet I love so dearly—”

Fragment: Cloud

I feel as if I have covered a lot of this aspect of the writing heavily throughout already, but this is the spot I really wanted to talk about – what I appreciate about Cloud, and why he embodies so much of my love for the game. There is so much I want to say about his character. I think it’s truly hard to speak about Cloud without denying my own bias for the character – it’s hard to separate from how strongly I emotionally resonate with him and his arc, especially his failings. When we are first introduced to him, we see him putting on airs without us as a player realizing that – a cold, somewhat robotic mercenary, who wields magic and a gigantic sword taking down anything as long as it pays well. This image of Cloud is what many are introduced to – the surface level appearance is enough to grab ones attention and give him an aura that radiates machoism.

And yet, this farce Cloud put’s on isn’t anything close to his true self – the real person inside is someone who curses their own weakness, constantly begging and striving to do better so he can be noticed by the object of his affections. He was unable to protect her – so he must try as hard as he can to protect her now, when he mistakenly believes that he’s already failed her twice. He can’t break her heart again – so he must continue his act until it becomes who he genuinely is, because the person he is today isn’t as valuable as the person he believes he can be.

But then, he meets Aerith – and his perception about himself slowly begins to shatter. She and Tifa both help guide him to better himself – and suddenly, he finds himself caught between emotions for both. Aerith allows Cloud a window to stop for once and look at the beauty of the world around him – she gives him the space to finally see the world for what it is and find something worth serving that isn’t simply in the service of trying to gain strength for his own self. Through both and the rest of his party, Cloud begins to see the value in his own life and the others around him, and begins to truly appreciate the rest of the world and the people who live in it as well. His experiences with the life around him cause him to not only slowly shift his own cause of action from aloofness to empathic, but also let him become a more virtuous individual as a whole.

But as his journey continues, he finds his own identity in shambles through Sephiroth’s twisted plans. After the temple of the ancients, Cloud is goaded into attacking Aerith, and blames himself for being unable to protect her and hurting her. When Aerith dies, Cloud buries his emotions, but through his own failings and once again Sephiroth’s machinations ultimately breaks inside the northern crater in the games infamous “reunion” scene. I want to talk about why this scene has always been one that stands out to me – why this scene resonates with me so – it’s because I see so, so much of myself in those moments of sadness he feels.

It’s the way Cloud apologizes to everyone, especially Tifa — apologizing to them for always letting them down, for being such a burden to them…especially to the person he cares about the most, finding himself unable to live up to the expectations of who he thinks she wanted him to be — so he closes off, returning to his own prison because he doesn’t know how to handle disappointing her.

It’s the way he tells her one day, he hopes she can meet the real Cloud again, completely exiling his own value and sense of self simply because he can no longer perceive himself as having any to begin with. The person Tifa is seeing, the person she wants to be close to — all Cloud can feel is that person isn’t the person standing right in front of her apologizing to her.

And it’s the way…that he constructs an entire sense of self based around being someone who isn’t him — a combination of many memories, idealization of others, his own insecurities and weaknesses all coming together to be someone who isn’t who he really is. Because when he gazes inwards and looks at himself, all he can see is someone with no self-worth — someone who doesn’t deserve to protect others or be beside them. It would be better if he could be someone different — someone stronger, someone more caring, someone who could be what he wishes he could be, because the person he really is just isn’t worth loving.

I don’t know how to describe it properly – I can’t find the words to express just how much I see my own breakdowns and lack of self in this scene. So many times I have found myself struggling, repeatedly apologizing and crying to myself or in front of others because I have always hated myself. No matter how many years have gone by, I still contemplate alone to myself and wonder when things will finally stop so I can be free of this hurt that constantly eats away at me. And yet, here, in Cloud, I find the closest thing that I can describe as one of my own episodes on the screen – always after trying to keep myself collected and composed in front of everyone, something finally happens and I lose myself to my own hurt.

And yet, he still pushes onwards – helped by the person he cherishes the most, he finally begins to slowly find himself. Cloud doesn’t believe in himself or his own ability, because he has already failed everyone around him, including Aerith, who he can no longer see again. But finally, someone who does know his worth begs him to find his own strength alongside her, and she pulls him out to face his past headstrong and his own demons, both with those around him and by himself. It’s ultimately Tifa who is so crucial to Cloud’s recovery – after all, it was in part because of his desire to protect her that he twisted himself into his false soldier persona.

Through the final acts of the game, Cloud finally tries to accept himself for the first time – he acknowledges that he is a weak person, and his own failings are heavy. He finally faces the fact that he couldn’t cope with the loss of his hometown, his mother, his best friend Zack, and Aerith, the girl who gave him so much life. But he decides to stop apologizing anyways – he decides that it’s okay to keep walking forward, and that he wants to protect everyone even if he may never be able to truly atone for his failures. And the party chooses to stay by his side as always, because they are so happy that he is finally okay and able to stand with them once more.

When Cloud and Tifa finally share their night under the stars, he tells her that he doesn’t know what to say to her – he always dreamed about what he would, and finding the right words, but he is unable to actually express them because he never truly envisioned himself sharing that moment with her. She simply tells him to stay by her side, and that’s all that needs to be said – and they finally find their strength in one another, letting the shackles of their past slip ever looser so they can finally be free.

At the end of Final Fantasy VII, Sephiroth has given into his grief and hatred permanently, unable to process his emotions about his disjointed parenthood and lack of personhood caused by the machinations of those around him – Shin-ra, Hojo, and others. He chooses to continue to fester in his pain, unable to truly express the somewhat cold but kind person he used to be in the past. But our protagonist no longer gives into such desires – he wants to protect those around him, and the world he has come to cherish. He’s finally found a real reason to smile after all of those years of hurt. And most of all, he has to fight to protect one final wish – a wish he was unable to hear, but now can feel inside his heart – a voice, calling for a world without dissonance and discord, to protect those she cherished so dearly – and now he simply wishes for the same thing, so he chants a silent prayer as he watches the embodiment of her wish protect the planet.

And this is where my tale in this writing ends – my story does not begin nor end here, just like Cloud’s story doesn’t begin or end with the journey he undertakes throughout Final Fantasy VII. Much like our protagonist, I have and continue to wear many selves, and watched my relationships come and go as the years go by. I haven’t truly found a place where I can be unabashedly myself, carrying my past and present with me to wherever I go. And yet each year, I hold onto the hope that someday, I can find that place to return to – even now, I gaze toward the future despite the uncertainties ahead – even though I can never forgive myself, I still want to try to move forward, because that’s what I can do to thank everyone who still stays besides me even now. When I streamed FF7 back in 2024, I felt like I could be myself around others for the first time – now, that feeling has faded once again, and all that remains is a little ember of light that occasionally stops by to sit besides my heart. But I hope one day, I can find a find something that will allow it to grow once again.
————————————————-
as I lay down my pen, I search for that starlight vision…

“I want to be forgiven. Yes, I want to be forgiven.”
“By whom?”
————————————————-
“You see…I let you die.”
“You just keep dragging along, don’t you?
Hey, can’t you just forgive yourself?”
————————————————-
“I’ve never blamed you for what happened.
You came, didn’t you? That was enough.”

Thank you so much for reading this piece. At the end here, I would like to shout out a few specific people that have helped shape me into the person I am today throughout the last couple of years, since I first returned to streaming and where I am today.

To Grunt, my very best friend – I am always grateful that you amongst everyone has been here by my side throughout everything. Every interaction we’ve shared has always been special to me, and I cherish how many hours we’ve spent together, whether it’s playing games or watching some of the most interesting anime both of us have ever seen. Your advice and help towards many personal projects of mine has always been tremendously appreciated – I am so grateful to everything you have done for me, and words alone cannot express that. Thank you so much for always being willing to stay by my side.

To Sleepy, my first true friend after I started streaming and the very first stream regular – I really cannot express just how much gratitude I have towards you, especially during your days on twitter. I am so grateful I got to become friends with you and open up about myself to you – many of those late nights we shared talking on my stream still mean so much to me, and I am glad that I have gotten to be a small part of your life.

To Den, I can’t express how much it means to me that you’re always asking after me and checking up on me. It means the world that you do, and I like how both of us yap to one-another about things that are irrelevant to most people we know.

To April, it means a lot to me that I was able to gain a friend who I could really share myself to and relate to emotionally on so many levels.

To Dawn, who I have been avidly following for years, I am glad I was able to befriend you and finally feel comfortable talking to someone about our shared love for otomes, and I am very glad I was able to send you down the FF7 rabbit hole. It means so much to me that you always check up on me as well when you know I’m feeling down. I appreciate it so much.

To Zeke, the artist who frequently puts up with my outlandish requests, thank you so much as always for everything you’ve done for me. I cannot express my gratitude more, and I greatly appreciate all the pieces you’ve drawn for me.

To Runie and Elcrest, thank you both so much for supporting me throughout everything last year – the art you have given me has meant the world to me, and I am so grateful that you two have stuck by me through and through. I cannot ever repay you back as much as you are owed, but I will try my hardest to support you two as best as I can.

To Kiyo, the amethyst writer herself, I am so grateful to have met you – every one of your posts has been nothing but a treat for me to read, and you have always offered my advice when I ask even if sometimes, I feel overbearing. Notably, your personal attitude and your streams have always inspired me to be truer to myself and become more understanding and empathetic of others as I always strive to be, rather than give into complacency. And lastly, your hobbies and writing have inspired me so much to the point where I decided to consider writing this post to begin with (funny how life circles! I remember when you said the same about me once, lol.) I am so grateful to have met you, and I hope I can always be there for you whenever needed.

And lastly, to Dev – Thank you so much for everything you have done for me. Whether it’s thumbnails or art, or even just being around and a constant source of energy for me, I am so grateful to have had you in my life and met you in the last year. You have been nothing but supportive of me even at my lowest, and I am so grateful that I have been able to continue to give as much as you give back to me. I can’t express how happy I am that you’re in my life – you are such an enjoyably silly person, that I can’t help but smile at the way you act about everything. Thank you so much for always bringing me positivity, and for being here when I really needed someone the most.

Thank you all so much for everything. Til we meet again, on the starlit sea…